KeenHire Blog by Margaret Graziano

You Are The Sum Of The 5 People You Spend Your Time With

Sometimes that statement makes me cringe. If that statement is a true one, we all best be very selective with who we chose to call our friend and who we chose to give our time to.

I make friends easily. On planes, on trains, in cars, in bars, in courses, on horses, at lunch, upon a hunch, through my boys, because of my sporting toys..... it seems no matter where I go I come back with new friends. The real question for me to answer is, "How do I feel when I am on my way home from being with these people I am calling friends?".

Do I feel energized, powerful and giddy or am I drained and exhausted? Are my friends and business partners feeding my spirit or sucking the life out of me?  Do they give what they take, or do they just take. 

Do we share values, beliefs and commitments? Or do we share partying and fun over cocktails and gossip?

The naked truth at times hurts. Sometimes even people I have known and loved for a decade need to take a back seat because they are stealing my energy, time and in some cases my spirit. 

One of my new friends and inspirations is a  man named Michael Nila, Michael is the CEO of Guardian Quest. When we met we discussed everything from spiritual matters, leadership, parenting, sex, business and family.  I was sharing with Michael my dilemma of as I get busier and have less time, how selective I need to be with what I do with my time. He says purging is part of life. Sometimes you see people because of the family connection, other times because of a deep bond and a need to be with that person, other times it is to fill in the space or out of obligation.  The key is evaluate, assess, weigh the pros and cons of having certain people in your life.  Sometimes when there are people who I am around out of guilt or fear they limit who else comes into my life and the time I would have to nurture the right relationships is wasted and misused.  WOW, it seems pretty much like the coaching I give to hiring managers and business leaders on choosing their talent wisely.  When the student is ready the teacher appears.

Michael believes that Magic moments are what ties people together and builds foundational bonds. Sharing things that matter, like life training programs, family events, kids sporting games, life losses, charity events, spiritual awakenings and uplifting adventures. He said that the ability to communicate good, bad, happy, sad, real feelings is critical. As he was speaking I kept checking in with myself for how I was interpreting his words. The thought that kept popping up was shared values. Common bonds, common life experiences, aligned beliefs, similar work ethics and missions in life. 

It is a lot like hiring, right?  You are the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with in business. Are you surrounding yourself with challenging people who will up the ante or are you surrounding yourself with people who are happy just to have a place to call home?

My conversation with Michael was very timely, actually perfect as I plan for 2010.  I chose ideal friendships, and ideal lover, ideal business partners, ideal employees and ideal customers, people of depth, purpose and passion.  People who will call me to be at my best. 

Cha Ching - Ring in the New Year!

Best of Success in 2010

Margo

The Law of Attraction or is it Detraction ? It's Your Call....Choose Wisely!

Just know what you’re choosing. When I first learned about the law of attraction, it was from my coach Jeanna Gabellini, and it was before The Secret came out. While I highly enjoyed the movie The Secret, it was only an introduction to the work of the law of attraction; and there is a lot more to it.  In my conversations with recruiters, staffing people, men and women about the job and about life; it seems, at times as if people are confused about what the law is and how to make it really work in their life, on a regular basis. Theoretically it is easy, be positive, think positive and take positive actions and positive things happen, you stay healthier, happier and life just works.

Where people break down is not in the thinking positively part, they break down when they are unconscious to their negative energy and how it blocks off things like love, openness and possibility (and that impacts making deals).

To take a deeper cut, let me hone in by saying what the law of attraction is not. It is not about saying what you don't want. It is not about complaining and whining about what is missing from your life, or from your candidate pool or from your relationship, or from your dating pool. It is not about telling everyone what a bad person you used to work for or used to be married to; it is not about complaining about the impending election, global warming or the economy.

The only thing you can attract when you are worried or concerned or pissed off is more of that. Like attracts like, so when you’re vibrating negative energy you cause more things to worry about, more things to be concerned about and more things to piss you off. Now who would really want that? No one would consciously choose that, so why do we?  We choose it because at our core we do not have any real concept about the negative impact of negative energy and if we did have a real understanding about the impact of manifesting negative energy we would not allow ourselves to vibrate negatively for very long at all. We would get angry, be angry for as long as we needed to feel that we did our anger justice and then we would get over it as fast as we could and then we would stop talking about it.

I think we get caught up on automatic pilot, in our story, in our righteousness, in our defense mechanisms all we can see or hear are words and signs that validate our position and temporarily it makes us feel good and justified. When someone comes along and says, could you look at this differently….often a first reaction is to think we are being ganged up on, not empathized with, or that someone is judging us; when in reality it might just be their attempt at shifting our negative vibration to a positive or neutral place.  

To make my point clear, think of a time when you were badly hurt and you got angry. Feel the sensation of that anger, where does it reside in your body, how does it make you feel, what kind of thoughts are you having? For me, when I vibrate negatively the impact is not only hard on me it is hard for everyone around me. My fixed way of reacting when I feel someone is taking advantage of me is to get defensive and angry. Before I know it, I get a knot in my belly, my throat gets hot and I go from happy go lucky to crabby patty in an instant. Can you image if I picked up a call and tried to sell something, or showed up on  a date like that. Well I have and needless to say it didn’t go well.  

Becoming A Certified Coach Through CTI

Coaching is a relatively new field, there are some wacky wafers out there calling themselves coaches and there are some extraordinary human beings out there coaching extraordinary people. I have had both and I have paid thousands of dollars and had to learn over time which is which.

I have always, okay for the last 8 years I have had a 'dream' of creating an Executive Retreat Center in the mountains or foothills of Marin County, CA. My sanctuary will be a place where business leaders come and rejuvenate their mind, body and spirit. We will have an organic chef, have plenty of daily fitness excursions and have a transformational leadership curriculum that brings business leaders back to purpose, freedom and peace of mind.

Yesterday I attended my 1st day of my 2nd course at CTI's (Coaches Training Institute)corporate office in San Rafael, CA. As I was sitting in the room and the instructor took us twenty years in the future through a powerful visioning exercise; I found myself in Marin, in a beautiful place with a large foyer, a great man by my side, 2 welcoming dogs and 18 bedrooms nestled on the side of foothill. Maybe it was because the vision exercise took place right in the middle of it - maybe not. My future in twenty years was crystal clear, I had accomplished my dream and I was totally at peace and happy.  

Coaching exists in many forms and there are many specialties; Executive Coaching, Career Coaching, Triathlon Coaching, Financial Abundance Coaching, Law of Attraction Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Dating Coaching, Parenting Coaching, and more. Who could not use all of the above? If you have heard me speak publicly then you know that I have had business and personal coaches for the past 10 years and that those folks, the ones I have stayed with for a period of time have been a major source or a conduit for me to source my power.

Being 100% Responsible For Making A Difference

When I am being accountable to who I say that I am - Life Works. And when I am not ....well go figure - life's a struggle.

When I sold my business - I did it for the purpose of living my life at choice and pursuing my passion.  While running a staffing firm was a fabulous business opportunity, and an excellent training ground for life, it wasn't my true calling.  In 1996 when I took the Landmark Forum I realized that a true self expression of 'Margo' was training & development, consulting and coaching. I saw the future of me guiding, training and coaching people & companies in the staffing and recruiting industry. I visioned ways we as an industry could transform the workplace and be conduits for employment empowerment. I have spent the better part of the past 12 years preparing for this through taking courses and participating in programs that would glean me Organizational Development, Retention & Coaching Certifications.

As I embark on living my life by design..I face a whole new world of possibility and power.